Um, my bad?

I'm probably never going to BUI again. Can't promise that, though. I in no way meant to offend anyone (just putting in a disclaimer, have not gotten any hate comments yet) and I'm not a hateful person, just stupid sometimes.

I honestly am proud of all bloggers, especially those who get tons of readers and are able to make a living off it. My favorite blogger is author Jen Lancaster, who is writing her fourth book after being "discovered" by her blog. She's awesome, check her out at www.jennsylvania.com. If you haven't read her books, I highly recommend any of them for laugh out loud reading.

I suppose I will try to take a different tact to my blog. I changed the layout as you can tell (unless you're colorblind, which is fine, I know many colorblind people). I may try to write more about what it's like to be an Army wife. I tried to steer clear of it because of security reasons, but I have thought about it and can totally be generic, blah blah blah.

Who knows, but I see this blog going in a different direction, because really, there was no direction before. Stay tuned.

Beyond Me...

Thanks to my girlie, J, who I was a total bitch to in high school after I looked back on my yearbook (J, you were was one of the best friends that ever happened to me and I was a shit, I totally and freely admit it), I started this blog sometime last year (I think. I've had three beers that aren't Bud Lights so I'm a little fuzzy but heck yeah it's Thirsty Thursday. I could have started it last week, but I'm pretty sure it's been awhile.)

I love my blog, because, like when I wrote for The Bayonet, the newspaper of the Army post I have lived on for 12 years now, I write for me. I am surprised when I find out that other people actuallly read it. I guess it's low self-esteem or just the fact that when I write, I write for me, and if someone else happens to read it, then great for them, it just never strikes me that someone else will be reading what I write.

But as I hopelessly Twitter, I see tons of women who blog. And people read their blogs. And they are no more special or funny or sarcastic than me. Do I have an overinflated ego? Maybe. I'm okay with that. But I also think that I have a heck of a lot more to say than some of these women who actually get paid to have a blog.

Hell, you want to know what it's like to be an Army wife? Pay me, I'll write about it all the livelong day. Want me to blog three months worth of a deployment and know what it's like to be depressed to the point of immobility? I'm your woman! How about having a 9-year-old son who is cooler than you? Sign me up!

Maybe I'm a bitter witch. Probably, no doubt. I'm just amazed by these many seemingly vapid blogs that get attention.

Okay, it does sound pathetic after I read this, but whatever, that's who I am and I'm not sorry for it.

Givin' bird the bird

I have a fear of birds.

This fear started about three years ago, when, in the span of three days, two birds made their way into my house. We use a large window as a dog door so the dogs can go in and out as they please, but that also lets said birds come in. I don't know why they would choose to come in, but they did.

The first one ended up on my curtain rod in my bedroom. I closed the door and called Adam at work and made him come home to take care of it. Sadly, he shot it with a BB gun. Ok, maybe I'm not so sad about it, but I do hate to see any kind of animal die.

Probably the saddest thing was that Adam put it in a plastic bag and in the trash, ON TRASH DAY AFTER THE TRASH MAN HAD ALREADY COME. I made him take it out and throw it in the woods, because honestly, a dead bird in the trash can, even though it's outside, creeped me out and I figured a stench would eventually emanate from it.

Three days later, I woke up to hear birds singing. Not outside-there was another one in the house. He was in the kitchen, up on top of the cupboard. I got the BB gun out, but it took me awhile to get up the courage to shoot at it. I fired three times, and missed all three times. I think I probably missed on purpose, but hell, my shot group was TIGHT.

I had Adam on the phone, begging him to come home, and the screen open. It was that bird's lucky day that he decided to fly out the door to freedom.

Since then, I have hated birds. I went out back after this debacle and hacked the shit out of the tree where the birds liked to hang out. My backyard looked like tree limbs fell out of the sky and blanketed every square inch within the fence. It did make really good firewood for the firepit though.

My most recent hatred is of hummingbirds. Yeah, they're cute and all, but they scare the shit out of me when I'm sitting on the porch and all of a sudden they're right there in my face, buzzing their wings. I figured out they scare me because here in the South, we have bugs bigger than hummingbirds, no kidding. So I always think it's a huge-ass bug trying to attack me.

Go ahead, laugh at me, because everyone else does. Doesn't bother me, because I readily admit it's stupid.

Hazy

I'm still trapped in this mental fog I'm guessing is depression. I know tomorrow will be better, because it will be one day away from Adam coming back home. It will give me reason to get off my butt and clean the house, which I have no desire to do right now.

Luckily, the depression will be gone once Adam is home. I also have much to look forward to. My friend's daughter is coming home from college for the weekend, so I will be able to celebrate Thirsty Thursday. Next Thursday, the Nash family will hit the highway and drive to Wisconsin (yum, cheese) to my BFF Ely's house. We are the godparents of her son Thomas and he will be baptized next Sunday. I am super excited to see Ely and Brian and meet Thomas, just not looking forward to the 14-hour road trip. Adam tends to get cranky when stuck in the truck for too long and I am always one second away from peeing my pants. But, it's been too long since I've been able to hang out with Ely so it's all good.

Go Red Sox, let's sweep the Mariners!

Beyond Bored

Adam's been gone since Wednesday. I finally feel normal again after too many days of being sick. And I'm bored out of my mind.
I'm so bored I don't even feel like blogging. I don't know if it's depression or I'm just lonely. Addison's got friends over all the time so it's just me and the dogs basically.
I'm so bored I'm addicted to Twitter. If you're bored, too, follow me on Twitter. I update all the time.

Recovering

I've been gripped by a stomach virus for six days now. I finally feel better, can actually walk around and do some stuff, and my appetite is slooowly coming around. I wish it wouldn't, I'm enjoying my 5-pound weight loss, but oh well, it will give me motivation to work out and keep it off.

Yesterday was Friday, and I didn't have one drop of alcohol, like I usually do on Friday and Saturday nights. I figured a couple handfuls of Cheerios and a can of peaches wouldn't sit quite right with some Bud Lights. Plus, I really didn't feel like drinking. My 13-year-old neighbor is really worried, because Miss Erin always has beer on Friday nights.

Today I feel alright, but am about to take two Imodium ADs. Yeah, back to the diarrhea. I can't get a break.

Hermit Lady (TMI if you don't like bodily functions)

I had to stop and do some mental calculations today, and when I did, I figured out that I haven't left my house in a week. I've gone outside and across the street to the neighbor's to help Addison feed their dog while they're on vacation, but basically, have not set foot in a vehicle since last Thursday.

Last Thursday, I dragged Addison to Hobby Lobby and the fabric store. Friday, I got a herniated disc in my back. Friday night and Saturday, Addison had diarrhea and the runs. Sunday I didn't feel very well, and we stayed home and watched NASCAR and the Sox. Monday all hell broke loose with my body (Thanks Addman) and I seriously thought about slitting my wrists because I've never spent so much time on the toilet, and on my knees (yes, even more time than in high school) trying not to shit my pants while puking.

Tuesday the fluids stayed in my body (including urine, it took me 24 hours to urinate) but I still had a raging fever. Yesterday, I thought it would be all over. I was wrong. Still feverish and weak.

Woke up today and figured, ok, this is the day when I feel normal again. It took all of about 30 minutes until I was laying on my bed, afraid I was going to pass out. Between that and the bad stomach pains, I'm trying to make deals with God.

I feel for Addison. Adam left for California yesterday and poor Addison is bored out of his skull. One of his good friends moved and another is on vacation, so only the dregs of the neighborhood are around and I guess even only children are selective. Right now we are having "throw the wadded up notebook paper into the wastebasket and see who wins." I'm kicking his ass, like I did at Connect Four yesterday. Sucka.