I've been trying hard to be a more positive person, to roll with the punches instead of trying to fight everything. I think I've been doing a pretty good job of it, and life is a lot less stressful. What I've figured out, though, is that there is a certain breed of people who I will never, ever like. I bet you know one or two or even more, because they're certainly rampant. They are the "I'm better than everyone else because _____" (fill in the blank.)
You know those people who make you feel bad because you happen to like Justin Beiber's music? The ones who say, "Oh, if you don't listen to the new record by I Pull My Pud you suck so bad." It seems like everyone tries to be original, to not be mainstream. That's fine, but you don't have to try to make yourself feel awesome by making others feel bad about what they listen to.
Or read. Or eat. Or drink. I don't care if I won $190,000,000 - me and my taste buds would still be eating at McDonald's.
It seems some "trashy" things are cool to own up to - watching Jersey Shore, for example. I don't watch it, but if I did, I'd own up to it. I'm reading Snooki's book. Go ahead and mock me, I don't care. I read all kinds of books. I just finished the Stieg Larsson trilogy and really liked the books. I love Willa Cather and I love Jackie Collins books.
People need to get over themselves. If you want to drink your Keystone Light while reading Cervantes, you go for it. If you want to listen to New Kids on the Block while discussing Beethoven's works, who the hell cares? Like Joseph Campbell is reported to have said, "Follow your bliss." I'll add to that and say, "Follow your bliss, and fuck anyone who gives you any shit about it. They're douchebags, yo."
Friday, January 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Because it's reading time ...
There's something about the holidays that makes me want to sit on the couch and do nothing but read nonstop. I actually did this one day, and by evening I was nauseous and my eyes hurt really, really bad. But, I love to read. I may be "just a housewife" but I love to learn.
I finished reading Just Kids last night. It's about singer/writer/artist Patti Smith and photographer/artist Robert Mapplethorpe, how they met, lived together in the late '60s and '70s in New York City, and what their lives were like during that time. I've always romanticized what living in NYC might have been like in the '70s, the drugs, music, sex, etc. I think the opening credits of Saturday Night Live during the late '70s gave me this view. Whatever it was, I loved the book. I only knew the names of Patti Smith and Mapplethorpe, and this was a great introspection by Smith into both herself and Mapplethorpe. The book is beautifully written. I read each and every word so as to absorb the whole book.
I ponied up and started reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson. I have read the previous two in the trilogy. They are intense reads, that's for sure. Usually, if I enjoy a book and know the next in the series is already published, I plow ahead and read as many as there are. With these books, I had to take a few months' break between them. It could just be me, but I find them psycholgically and mentally exhausting. But I do love them, so I'm glad to be on the last in the trilogy.
I finished reading Just Kids last night. It's about singer/writer/artist Patti Smith and photographer/artist Robert Mapplethorpe, how they met, lived together in the late '60s and '70s in New York City, and what their lives were like during that time. I've always romanticized what living in NYC might have been like in the '70s, the drugs, music, sex, etc. I think the opening credits of Saturday Night Live during the late '70s gave me this view. Whatever it was, I loved the book. I only knew the names of Patti Smith and Mapplethorpe, and this was a great introspection by Smith into both herself and Mapplethorpe. The book is beautifully written. I read each and every word so as to absorb the whole book.
I ponied up and started reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson. I have read the previous two in the trilogy. They are intense reads, that's for sure. Usually, if I enjoy a book and know the next in the series is already published, I plow ahead and read as many as there are. With these books, I had to take a few months' break between them. It could just be me, but I find them psycholgically and mentally exhausting. But I do love them, so I'm glad to be on the last in the trilogy.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Because it's that time of year ...
I have this incredible yearning for nostalgia lately. I feel the need to comfort myself. I'm not sure why I feel like this. Maybe it's because Adam's still only been home less than two months. Maybe it's because it's almost Christmas, and we aren't lucky enough to live near family to be able to spend it with them. Whatever it may be, I'm nostalgic.
I want to be 6 years old again, sitting it the back of the car while my mom and dad (who would divorce a year later) bring my sister and I to my grandmother's house for Christmas Eve, in the snow, looking at Christmas lights the whole way to her house. I want that innocence back. The belief that Santa was real. The non-divorced parents. When getting an Annie doll was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I want to watch every Christmas episode of the best shows I used to watch growing up: Laverne and Shirley, Good Times, Happy Days, and all those sitcoms that made me feel good.
When I have a lack of control in life, I tend to gravitate toward my old creature comforts. Adam will be taking on a job with more responsibility next week. I'm so proud of him, but I also know it will involve even longer hours than the usual 13+ hours a day he's at work. I miss him when he's at work, and I miss Addison when he's at school. But I'm okay with this. This is life.
I will enjoy the slowing down of the next few weeks, because it doesn't come along often, maybe once or twice a year. I'm going to watch all the Christmas shows I can, read Christmas books, listen to Christmas music, and overall, just enjoy the season.
I want to be 6 years old again, sitting it the back of the car while my mom and dad (who would divorce a year later) bring my sister and I to my grandmother's house for Christmas Eve, in the snow, looking at Christmas lights the whole way to her house. I want that innocence back. The belief that Santa was real. The non-divorced parents. When getting an Annie doll was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I want to watch every Christmas episode of the best shows I used to watch growing up: Laverne and Shirley, Good Times, Happy Days, and all those sitcoms that made me feel good.
When I have a lack of control in life, I tend to gravitate toward my old creature comforts. Adam will be taking on a job with more responsibility next week. I'm so proud of him, but I also know it will involve even longer hours than the usual 13+ hours a day he's at work. I miss him when he's at work, and I miss Addison when he's at school. But I'm okay with this. This is life.
I will enjoy the slowing down of the next few weeks, because it doesn't come along often, maybe once or twice a year. I'm going to watch all the Christmas shows I can, read Christmas books, listen to Christmas music, and overall, just enjoy the season.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Because I admire her ...
I'm incredibly sad that Elizabeth Edwards is nearing death, according to the news reports. Though a staunch Republican, I've always admired her. I read all about the Edwards family when John was running for office, and felt awful about the loss of their son in a car accident. I can't imagine the pain a parent feels when their child dies suddenly.
Through all the news about John's infidelity and his fathering of another child while still married to Elizabeth, she remained classy. She even bought the kid Christmas presents. I highly admire people who remain classy and graceful during times of high stress, when they have the right to freak out and rail against those who hurt them, yet don't. They take the high road. I aspire to be like those people.
Although Elizabeth has been preparing her children for her death, no one can ever replace a mother. My heart breaks for her children, for her family, for her friends, for all who know and love her. She is able to impart her final words of wisdom to her children. I don't ever want to die before Addison, and I can't quite fathom knowing that I didn't have much longer on this earth, and the hurt associated with that.
All I can say is I sincerely hope Elizabeth is at peace and in no pain physically. She has a lot of admirers, including me, praying for her and her family. Godspeed, Elizabeth.
Through all the news about John's infidelity and his fathering of another child while still married to Elizabeth, she remained classy. She even bought the kid Christmas presents. I highly admire people who remain classy and graceful during times of high stress, when they have the right to freak out and rail against those who hurt them, yet don't. They take the high road. I aspire to be like those people.
Although Elizabeth has been preparing her children for her death, no one can ever replace a mother. My heart breaks for her children, for her family, for her friends, for all who know and love her. She is able to impart her final words of wisdom to her children. I don't ever want to die before Addison, and I can't quite fathom knowing that I didn't have much longer on this earth, and the hurt associated with that.
All I can say is I sincerely hope Elizabeth is at peace and in no pain physically. She has a lot of admirers, including me, praying for her and her family. Godspeed, Elizabeth.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Because I effin' love to read ...
Bad Erin - no blogging for almost a month. November was pretty busy, yo. I'm looking forward to a relaxing December but for some reason I have much more energy than ever, so I suppose that's a good thing.
I've gotten my Christmas shopping done. Presents are wrapped, and have even been shipped to our respective families. Christmas cards (which were made in August - I've either incredibly anal, organized, or have a lot of time on my hands) have been sent out as of two days ago. I even finished the stocking stuffers for Adam and Addison.
Around this time of year, I get a hankering for reading. More so than usual, because it's rare that I'm not reading a book.
I'm not real proud to admit I just finished Nicole Richie's book Priceless. But after having read 3 500+-page books in the last few weeks, I needed something pretty mindless, and this delivered in that respect. It's a quick, easy read. It won't change your life, but if you're looking for something fluffy to read, go for it.
As soon as I finished Priceless, I started Matched, by Ally Condie. It's a Young Adult novel, and supposedly along the lines of the Hunger Games, which I still haven't tucked into the trilogy, yet I want to. Maybe after this book. Needless to say, I have tons of books on the Kindle to read, which I fully intend on doing this month.
I've gotten my Christmas shopping done. Presents are wrapped, and have even been shipped to our respective families. Christmas cards (which were made in August - I've either incredibly anal, organized, or have a lot of time on my hands) have been sent out as of two days ago. I even finished the stocking stuffers for Adam and Addison.
Around this time of year, I get a hankering for reading. More so than usual, because it's rare that I'm not reading a book.
I'm not real proud to admit I just finished Nicole Richie's book Priceless. But after having read 3 500+-page books in the last few weeks, I needed something pretty mindless, and this delivered in that respect. It's a quick, easy read. It won't change your life, but if you're looking for something fluffy to read, go for it.
As soon as I finished Priceless, I started Matched, by Ally Condie. It's a Young Adult novel, and supposedly along the lines of the Hunger Games, which I still haven't tucked into the trilogy, yet I want to. Maybe after this book. Needless to say, I have tons of books on the Kindle to read, which I fully intend on doing this month.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Because I feel the need ...
Let me preface by saying that I am in no way complaining in this post. I used to be a huge whiner, until the advent of Facebook. When I saw people who constantly bitched about how awful everything was, I took a good look at myself and decided I did not want to be that thoroughly annoying asshole everyone ended up either unfriending or hiding from their feed.
I do feel the need, though, to tell what normal, everyday life is like for both myself and my family. I used to run my mouth a lot, to try to right the wrongs of the world. I've also learned that sometimes it's better to just keep my mouth shut, although it's been hard. I can't make whiners into Sally Sunshines. If they are going to complain, they're going to complain.
These are facts: Adam, my husband, is a first sergeant in a special operations unit in the Army. He started out as private way back in 1995. I was dating him then. I've been along for the ride the entire 15 years he's been in the Army, and in the same unit for 14 of those years, after basic training and airborne school. If I ever open my mouth to offer advice to other wives, it's because most likely I've been there, done that, and even got the T-shirt. It's not because I think I know better than them. Chances are, I've probably been through a similar situation.
Another fact: I have a son who is 11 years old. We are riding that slippery slope of the pre-teen years, and hormones are starting to come into play.
Explaining what life is like for us only applies to us. Our life is not what the normal Army life is like. Sure, there are similarities, but in reality, they are two different worlds.
Fast fact: The bulk of my family and Adam's family live in Massachusetts. It's more than a 20-hour drive from here in Georgia. I am lucky enough to have my only sister a mere 6 hours from our house. So, if you ask me to try to plan to do something months in advance, I cannot guarantee I can make it. This life of ours is not dependable. I can't just ask Adam to please be home at a certain time because I won't be there for Addison. I would gander that 99.99% of the responsibility for Addison falls on me. I'm fine with that. That is why I have chosen not to work in the past few years.
The 10 years I did work was part-time. Most of it was done from home. When I did have to go into the office, Addison was with me. It was perfect. I wanted Addison to know the stability of having one parent he knew was always there. That is not a dig at Adam. It is the nature of his job, of the military.
Super fun fact: The higher your rank in the military, the more responsibility you garner, therefore, your hours will become longer. It's hard for me to bite my tongue when I see or hear wives complain at the time their husbands get home. It's the military. There are no set work hours. So many times I want to point out that most days, my husband is getting home hours later than their husbands. But that seems immature to me now. I don't need validation for being patient. I want to see my husband more than an hour a day, but I also understand that he has a LOT of work, and that it never gets done before he leaves for the night. He is a stand-up, good, hardworking family man. We all have a certain level of co-dependency borne out of living this life the past 15 years. But complaining isn't going to make him come home faster. And I would never, EVER nag him. I think he appreciates this.
I know he has thanked me for letting him do the job he loves. I am glad he has a job, and one that he loves. Not too many people can say that nowadays. I support him wholeheartedly in every aspect of his work.
This hasn't always been an easy life, but it's been good to us. I would love to be able to have Addison grow up near his grandparents, and to have his cousins in the same town. So many times I longed to instantly be at my mother-in-law's house, letting her take care of me and cook me supper, as selfish as that sounds. Sometimes I become very weary of being responsible. I want to be taken care of, just for a day. I don't want to worry about what is for supper, making sure the laundry is done, the house clean, homework done, or trying to figure out what time Adam will actually be home.
One more thing about our life: We can't just decide when we would like to go on vacation. The unit plans the two times a year Adam gets his vacation time (it's called "leave" for all of you civilians). Four weeks a year is great when I see how many years civilians have to put into a typical job to get that many vacation days. We were incredibly lucky that last summer and this summer we were able to actually go on vacation to Florida, because Addison was out of school.
I do feel like I left out some basics: Like I said before, there are no set working hours for Adam. He leaves the house every morning before 5 a.m. He is usually home sometime after 6 p.m. Every day is different. We are lucky enough that he gets a smattering of three- and four-day weekends here and there. There are also the times he cannot be more than two hours outside of the area. He is in charge of a company of Soldiers. Some of these Soldiers get into trouble. I have been woken up countless times because these guys were arrested for DUI, fighting, you name it. Again, it's the nature of his job.
There's a lot of things people don't know about the military. I have no problem letting people know what military life is like, and that's just as a wife. I'm sure if Adam sat down and wrote out what a typical day is like for him, a lot of people wouldn't even believe him.
I wrote a lot of this in my head today. Typing it out, it's totally different. It sounded great in my head. I think I got my point across. I hope so.
I do feel the need, though, to tell what normal, everyday life is like for both myself and my family. I used to run my mouth a lot, to try to right the wrongs of the world. I've also learned that sometimes it's better to just keep my mouth shut, although it's been hard. I can't make whiners into Sally Sunshines. If they are going to complain, they're going to complain.
These are facts: Adam, my husband, is a first sergeant in a special operations unit in the Army. He started out as private way back in 1995. I was dating him then. I've been along for the ride the entire 15 years he's been in the Army, and in the same unit for 14 of those years, after basic training and airborne school. If I ever open my mouth to offer advice to other wives, it's because most likely I've been there, done that, and even got the T-shirt. It's not because I think I know better than them. Chances are, I've probably been through a similar situation.
Another fact: I have a son who is 11 years old. We are riding that slippery slope of the pre-teen years, and hormones are starting to come into play.
Explaining what life is like for us only applies to us. Our life is not what the normal Army life is like. Sure, there are similarities, but in reality, they are two different worlds.
Fast fact: The bulk of my family and Adam's family live in Massachusetts. It's more than a 20-hour drive from here in Georgia. I am lucky enough to have my only sister a mere 6 hours from our house. So, if you ask me to try to plan to do something months in advance, I cannot guarantee I can make it. This life of ours is not dependable. I can't just ask Adam to please be home at a certain time because I won't be there for Addison. I would gander that 99.99% of the responsibility for Addison falls on me. I'm fine with that. That is why I have chosen not to work in the past few years.
The 10 years I did work was part-time. Most of it was done from home. When I did have to go into the office, Addison was with me. It was perfect. I wanted Addison to know the stability of having one parent he knew was always there. That is not a dig at Adam. It is the nature of his job, of the military.
Super fun fact: The higher your rank in the military, the more responsibility you garner, therefore, your hours will become longer. It's hard for me to bite my tongue when I see or hear wives complain at the time their husbands get home. It's the military. There are no set work hours. So many times I want to point out that most days, my husband is getting home hours later than their husbands. But that seems immature to me now. I don't need validation for being patient. I want to see my husband more than an hour a day, but I also understand that he has a LOT of work, and that it never gets done before he leaves for the night. He is a stand-up, good, hardworking family man. We all have a certain level of co-dependency borne out of living this life the past 15 years. But complaining isn't going to make him come home faster. And I would never, EVER nag him. I think he appreciates this.
I know he has thanked me for letting him do the job he loves. I am glad he has a job, and one that he loves. Not too many people can say that nowadays. I support him wholeheartedly in every aspect of his work.
This hasn't always been an easy life, but it's been good to us. I would love to be able to have Addison grow up near his grandparents, and to have his cousins in the same town. So many times I longed to instantly be at my mother-in-law's house, letting her take care of me and cook me supper, as selfish as that sounds. Sometimes I become very weary of being responsible. I want to be taken care of, just for a day. I don't want to worry about what is for supper, making sure the laundry is done, the house clean, homework done, or trying to figure out what time Adam will actually be home.
One more thing about our life: We can't just decide when we would like to go on vacation. The unit plans the two times a year Adam gets his vacation time (it's called "leave" for all of you civilians). Four weeks a year is great when I see how many years civilians have to put into a typical job to get that many vacation days. We were incredibly lucky that last summer and this summer we were able to actually go on vacation to Florida, because Addison was out of school.
I do feel like I left out some basics: Like I said before, there are no set working hours for Adam. He leaves the house every morning before 5 a.m. He is usually home sometime after 6 p.m. Every day is different. We are lucky enough that he gets a smattering of three- and four-day weekends here and there. There are also the times he cannot be more than two hours outside of the area. He is in charge of a company of Soldiers. Some of these Soldiers get into trouble. I have been woken up countless times because these guys were arrested for DUI, fighting, you name it. Again, it's the nature of his job.
There's a lot of things people don't know about the military. I have no problem letting people know what military life is like, and that's just as a wife. I'm sure if Adam sat down and wrote out what a typical day is like for him, a lot of people wouldn't even believe him.
I wrote a lot of this in my head today. Typing it out, it's totally different. It sounded great in my head. I think I got my point across. I hope so.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Because this is who I am ...
I made an important life discovery a few days ago. I had gotten a new friend on Facebook who I don't know in real life but I do know through the Internet. I was thoroughly impressed with her Facebook profile - she's a brainiac. I started feeling bad about myself. Sure, I can rock the socks off anyone while playing Jeopardy! with them, but in the academic sense, I lag seriously behind. I'm okay with this, and this is what I figured out.
That will never be me. I'm not an academic. But, instead of saying, "Oh, I'm not academically smart" I started thinking of everything that I AM. I AM an avid book reader. I AM a really loyal friend. I AM a good wife. I AM a good mother. I AM funny. Instead of being negative and going through everything I'm not (in my own head, especially) I've decided to focus on what I AM. It's a pretty comforting feeling, and affirming. Try it for yourself.
That will never be me. I'm not an academic. But, instead of saying, "Oh, I'm not academically smart" I started thinking of everything that I AM. I AM an avid book reader. I AM a really loyal friend. I AM a good wife. I AM a good mother. I AM funny. Instead of being negative and going through everything I'm not (in my own head, especially) I've decided to focus on what I AM. It's a pretty comforting feeling, and affirming. Try it for yourself.
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