Denial...

It's becoming more and more of a reality that we are moving in January. We've been browsing houses online to buy, and already got our pre-approval, so we've done what we are supposed to do.

Finally, though, I bit the bullet yesterday and checked with my neighbor to see when her daughter would be available to feed our dogs so we could visit Savannah and meet our agent and look at houses. I was putting it off because basically, I'm still in denial.

I feel torn. I'm excited to move to Savannah, and have the beach just minutes away and palm trees everywhere. I can't wait to explore the city and learn all there is about it.

But at the same time, I'm so so sad to be leaving Fort Benning. I've lived here longer than I have any other town in my 34 years. I have two best friends, one across the street and one up the street, who I talk to daily and hang out with a lot. We've seen each other through deployments, late nights, drama and all those girlfriend things that women do.

I have old co-workers who are like family, who I know I can go to for anything. I know that all of these people would drop everything to help me in any way, from babysitting Addison to lending me an egg. When we get to Savannah, I won't know anyone. I know I'll meet people, but it won't be the same.

Basically, I don't do well with loss. I still mourn my dog who died more than two years ago every day. I miss my grandfather who passed away in March. I miss all of my relatives who are no longer here, and feel it deeply in my heart. Moving from Fort Benning feels like a loss to me, from a loss of stability to a loss of friends. I know that my friends will always be my friends and we'll keep in touch, but it won't be the same not having them there physically.

So, I'm sad to leave here, as much as I've bitched about it. I'm making a pledge today to look on the bright side, to get excited about moving and home ownership and finally having a house I can do whatever I want to.

Wish me luck.