Because you truly suck, DirecTV

Dear DirecTV,
I have a HD receiver that was recalled last fall. Funny, you never let me know about it, and I never would have known but I Googled my model number and bingo! Recall. Most of the other people got a phone call or a letter. Not me. Gee thanks. Strike one.

Strike two-the reason I say this is because my receiver, which I've had for two years, is on it's last legs. I have to reset it a few times a day, interrupting my precious television watching. The picture freezes, or when I change the channel, no picture and no sound show up. I'm just glad I found out about the recall, otherwise I'm sure you'd try to charge me for a new one, just like you tried to charge me on the FIRST bill for three free months of premium channels.

And now, the kicker. I've been trying to call since yesterday. Apparently they have those cube-sized Macs like Jerry Seinfeld, because they've been updating since yesterday. They cannot access customers' accounts. Whatch you talkin' 'bout Willis? Seriously? How can a company as big as DirecTV have such crappy customer service?

I waited to call them, because every experience I've ever had sucks more than my vacuum. They are truly stupid. Once in awhile, the gods smile down on me and I get a coherent person, with a personality, who is more than willing to help me. For the most part, I get a representative who apparently is working there to pay off the lobotomy they just got the previous day.

If I wasn't such a rabid, tattoo-sporting member of Red Sox Nation, this craptastic satellite service would be gone faster than you can say boo. But it's my only way to watch the Sox, every day and as often as possible (which is quite a lot).

I'll drive on. And I will try my hardest not to be the rudest, meanest bitch if I so happen to get Lobotomy Larry the next time I call. Honestly.