I bought Addison the Wii game Boom Blox Smash Party for getting all A's on his report card, and yesterday afternoon we started playing it. I suppose we both have addictive personalities to a fault, so when it was time to start cooking supper, I said screw it, let's go grab some Burger King, even though Whoppers usually do a number on my bowels, but hell, I wanted one.
We had the windows down (it was that nice, ahhhh) and I glanced over at him, and it just hit me...he's not a baby anymore. He's not a toddler. He's a "tweener," those kids who are not yet teenagers but not little kids anymore either. My heart just about broke then and there. I didn't feel old, that wasn't the problem. I can't quite place my finger on it, but I realized that he'll be 11 years old in June. 11! Where did time go? I never listened to those people who told me, "They grow up so fast! Enjoy the time now." I liked him more and more the older he got, but now, maybe for just a day, I want my little boy back. The five-year-old, blond-haired, blue-eyed sweetheart who didn't know what Facebook was (and get asked out by girls on it), didn't talk back and didn't question everything I told him to do.
My heart broke just a little more when he texted me from his bed, "How old do I have to be to kiss girls?" I answered him back with, "38." We texted back a few more times (he asked, "For real?") and I finally told him that it would be up to him, that I wasn't going to put rules on stuff like that. I was glad we discussed it, even via texting, because it's hard for a boy to talk about stuff like that with his mom, especially me, who is extremely blunt with him and tells it like it is, which of course embarrasses him.
I can't reverse time, but I can learn to appreciate every single moment I spend with him, which I fully intend on doing.