Monday, April 30, 2012

Because he won't be in the Army forever...

Sometimes I come up with brilliant ideas, or at least what I think are brilliant ideas. I think I may have a winner with this one though.

Adam will hit his 17-year-mark in the Army this August. We'd both like him to retire at 20 years. Then what?

My idea - together, we will provide marriage retreats and classes. Not just ordinary classes, mind you, but classes I think will improve every marriage. Are we qualified? Who cares? I think so. When I see celebrities who have a 6-month-old baby writing parenting books, I snicker. Our marriage has gotten better and better with each passing year (almost 37 16 of them), so you be the judge.

A sampling of classes and workshops I've come up with so far:

  • She'll Put Out More If You Actually Buy the Tampons She Added to the Grocery List;
  • Having Another Baby Will Not Save Your Marriage - DUH;
  • Cleaning Involves More Than Lining Up Shoes Against the Wall;
  • Pretend You Enjoy the Lifetime Movie Network;
  • She Will Always Need More Shoes, So Just Shut It;
  • Let Him Go Golfing on the Weekend - More Time For Lifetime Movies;
  • Men, They Are Your Children - You Are NOT Babysitting Them;
  • Dr. Phil and Oprah Have Nothing On Us - Truth;
  • Enjoy Your Time Together. You Never Know When You Won't Have It;
  • If You Tell Her She's Fat, Say Hello to the Hand;
Since I know you will all want to attend these amazing classes, let me know what else you'd like to see. The possibilities are endless!

1 comment:

Nikki St. Amant said...

Sign us up for all of them except the cleaning one. I hate to clean and will never do more than the bear minimum. Besides, god gave him hands too and they aren't just for playing with yourself, boys.