Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Because I'm 17 again...

Think back to when you were 17. You were on top of the world, invincible as hell and couldn't wait to grow up and be a real adult.

How many of us would love to feel like that 17 year old again, because we now know what it's like to be a real grown up?

I've been married to an amazing man for almost 13 years. I've totally jipped him out of a lot of me. Yet he's stuck around.

I've got issues, you've got issues, we've all got issues. I have abandonment issues. But when I was 17, I gave myself, all of myself, to someone else, and I ended up crushed and broken at the age of 19, not the same person I was before.

Since then, it's been hard for me to give me, all of me, to anyone else.

I had much time to think with all the driving I did in the past few weeks. What the hell am I doing? I'm screwing up the most perfect relationship with the most perfect man because I couldn't get past something that happened so long ago.

But that's changed. I'm proud to announce the new me, the improved me, the one that will give all of her, heart and soul and body, to her husband. I will no longer hide, afraid of anything.

Hear me roar.

1 comment:

Adam said...

Love,
I am so happy to hear you turning over a new leaf. It makes me happy that our relationship is going to only get stronger, but I am more happy to see you get stronger as a person. Love you tons.