Oh, Richard Dawson, you are the apple of my eye. I guess it's because since quitting my job, I have many hours to watch TV, especially the Game Show Network.
I watch you on Family Feud and the Match Game. You are so funny, and so handsome. I imagine it is 1976 and I'm not 2 years old, but 20 and smoking hot, because I imagine you get all the chicks, but you see me and decide you must be my sugar daddy.
We live at your mansion in Beverly Hills and it's ultramodern, with shag carpeting and round seats in the living room. We like to sit out on the veranda overlooking the hills at sunset and drink dirty martinis, because you're a dirty boy, obviously, and we like to smoke our cigarettes and maybe entertain friends.
I know you're old now, and my husband tried to tell me you were dead, but I insisted that I would know if you had died. You're just really old, but I bet you're still smokin'.
Thanks for the daily eye candy, Richie D.