Sunday, November 2, 2008

Feelings of inadequacy

I suppose this post can go along with my post from the other day, about how I'm not a cook and I don't enjoy cooking.

Last night we went to a get-together with a lot of Adam's old co-workers. Technically, they're all co-workers since they're all in the same unit in the Army, but now Adam works in a different office and building.

Anyway, most of the people there were officers, majors and colonels, and their wives. There were only a few other enlisted couples, which is fine, because I really don't care what rank someone is when they are in civilian clothes and in a house.

If you don't know me well, let me explain. I'm the girl who drinks beer and watches sports. I'm feminine, don't get me wrong, but I'm not a wine and gossip type of gal. This has bothered me in the past, but I usually get over it.

Last night, though, I left there with major feelings of inadequacy. While sitting in the living room, watching the Texas vs. Texas Tech football game, I glanced around and realized I was the only woman at the party watching, along with Adam and a bunch of other guys. Okay, fine, whatever.

Then dessert was served. Many of the wives had brought dessert, including homemade cheesecake and other stuff I didn't even know what it was. I felt inadequate. I don't make homemade anything, unless you count fleece blankets and cross-stitches.

I sometimes wonder what went wrong with me. I don't want to sit around and talk about kids. I don't want to talk about Grey's Anatomy or the new Coach purses. And I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with anyone who wants to do that. It's just not me. That's what bothers me. Am I missing some sort of gene that I should have as a woman?

All in all, I had a good time, everyone seemed to think I was cool because I write for The Bayonet even though I don't work there. Everyone was super nice and I had the opportunity to meet a lot of new people. None the less, I don't feel up to par as a woman and that sucks. Oh well, time to watch some football!


Army Household6 said...

You're not the only one! I'm a beer-drinking, sports-watching kind of girl too! I'm sure that there are lots of others like us. Maybe we need to create some sort of support group or social network or something! : )

Adam said...

I know a lot of times I try to make you feel better and such when you have issues. Most of the time you don't either believe me or trust in what I say or it just doesn't help, but hopefully this will seeing how I am putting it on your blog for all to read if they want.
I love these little things about you. I love the fact that you can quote last nights scores and give good ideas as to who will win the SEC championship. I love the fact that you can go toe to toe with anyone about any sport.
I love the fact that you know what you know and give me updates on the ALCS, game that is on or how Carl Edwards is doing in the race.
I think it is cute how comfortable you are in a group of guys, holding a beer and commenting on the Big 10, the SEC or how Tiger Woods or TIGJAM is doing. I adore that about you. I also think it is cute how uncomfortable you are in a group of gals sipping whine and making small talk as you desperately want to check the score which you can hear in the next room.
I love the fact that you don't take 2 hours to get ready. I love the fact that you look beautiful as you are with out the help of Covergirl, or Loreal or any other make up company. You are natually beautiful. Other girls need to rely on that, you don't.
The only thing wrong with you is that you think that there is something wrong with you for being like that. I married you and have been with you because of who you are. We are both very open with each other, if I thought that was a flaw, do you think I would have said something.

I love you.

Jen said...

Aaaah! So fucking cute! Are you kidding me?

Okay. In this order:

1) Amen Adam.
2) I like wine, but I could give a rat's hind end about the new line of coach purses. Good Lord, I still rock a diaper bag. (But my diaper bag is pretty fierce, so perhaps I'm a bag girl afterall).
3)Jared and I spent last night at the Bruins game which was 20% hockey, 80% WWE Smackdown. We were in heaven.
4) We went to Boston Beer Works afterwards. For beer. And burgers.
If I had a pair, I would have grabbed them.
5) You're authentic. You're genuine. You are beautiful without trying to be (this can be a tad obnoxious but it's totally besides the point).

Don't change.


Erin said...

Okay, so Adam and Jen made me teary-eyed, which is hard to do, so congratulations. Tammy, let's start the network!
Thank you for the comments. I appreciate them all. I'm slowly coming around to appreciating myself, but sometimes it's hard to not be the stereotypical "woman."